That “BUT” could be damaging

I apologize, but….

I tend to agree, but...

You may be right, but...

Have you used these phrases or seen others using these phrases?

What does it mean?

I apologize, but I was not wrong alone; you did that to me.

This is not a true apology.

Do you think your apology will convince the other person?

I tend to agree, but I also have a point.

Basically, we have not agreed, but I am in no mood to carry the argument.

You may be right, but there are others aspects to this as well.

It means, basically, you are telling a partial truth.

The golden rule is not to have the BUT here.

But if at all you can not do away with it completely, then try

I apologize, and...

I tend to agree, and...

You may be right, and...

I apologize, and I was hurt.

But I should not have done that….

I tend to agree, and I have an additional point.

You may be right, and I believe that it could happen this way as well.

Did you notice the shift?

Only by changing one word BUT to AND the whole tonality, the undercurrent is mellowed.

Next time, which word are you going to use in these situations?

AND or BUT?