How to Handle Your Big Bully Boss

What is wrong with you?

Are you stupid?

If you are not achieving your target this quarter, keep your resignation ready.

In your long career, you may have faced a Big Bully Boss at some point in time.

A Big Bully Boss always uses threats, shouting, and yelling at employees.

He feels stick is the only way to manage people; he thinks frightening people will ensure maximum performance.

How oblivious he is that people have a fight or flight response in a frightened mode as an automatic physiological reaction that is primal.

In extreme conditions, people even freeze.

In the early years of my career, one of my bosses was a big bully, and he used to use phrases like the dagger is dangling on your head.

Move your A** or you are gone etc. etc.

I was inept to handle the situation.

I used to get crippled when I used to get his call; now I can recall a simple piece of action that used to take long hours for me because I was so frightened, and my efficiency dropped.

This is no side issue at all; workplace bullying is rampant.

I do not know how good or bad the situation is in other countries, but I have reasons to believe that it is quite prevalent in India.

Despite all evolved HR policies, still, this is a big issue.

So, what do you do when you have a Big Bully Boss?

1. Do not let fear overpower you. Look at things rationally. You can not control the behaviour of another individual. His problem is that he does not know how to conduct himself in a modern professional work setup. Show up courage; my own experience says that people will keep running over you if you become meek.
2. Do your job thoroughly, and do not leave anything to chance. If you are missing the deadline, give a prior indication. Do not give surprises. For any lapses, work on an alternate plan and go with multiple options. Be resourceful and solution-oriented, do not just highlight the problem.
3. Set your boundaries well. Assess what your code of honour is. Are you going to work in a place if your code of honour is compromised? If upholding your dignity and self-esteem is your number one code of honour, then you have to live by that even in the most adverse situation. I was once asked to give Performance Improvement Plans (PIP) to 80% of my team members. While PIP may sound fancy and look progressive, it ends with employee separation most of the time. I disagreed with the whole proposal. I told my manager if 80% of my team members are not achieving the target, I am not doing the job well, or there are fundamental issues. I knew that I would have to compromise my code of honour of standing for fairness if I buckle down. So, I decided to move on. You will have to decide what boundary you want to draw. Setting the boundary with a Bully Boss is not going to be any mean task. That has to be carefully planned and executed. When your manager on rage, you should not get raged. Keep your cool and show that you are not volatile. Later on, ask for a formal meeting and tell him that his behaviour has impacted you personally and may be detrimental to your performance. Then propose what kind of behaviour you expect and how that will help you and help him. Capitalize any opportunity of casual conversation to make this point. Separate the behaviour and person. Word of caution, do not be a missionary to change the person.
4. Build a compliant behaviour, be on time and follow the rules.
5. Do not antagonize and bypass your boss and go to his Boss and complain directly. This could be riskier, and if he comes to know, things will be more complicated.
6. Try and understand the trigger point driving his behaviour; Is he a perennial defaulter, or are there occasional outbursts? Try to understand his behaviour; is he going through a rough patch or having anxieties. He may even be insecure. Knowing the underlying emotions will empower you to handle the situation better.
7. If it is not working out, then plan to get it address through the proper channel, either approach the HR manager or the company ombudsperson to voice your concern.
8. If nothing is working out and becoming toxic, and you are going through a daily ordeal, plan for a career movement inside the organization for a different role or look for opportunities outside the company.

Are you empowered now to handle your Big Bully Boss?