Freedom from Failures

How many times you have heard, when you try, either you succeed or you learn?

And still, we keep failing again and again…

It seems we do not learn.

It seems we fail the same way over and again.

But is it true?

Do we fail the same way repeatedly and do not learn anything from our failures?

Some people think that the universe conspires to make us learn from our failures.

Then why we sometimes do not learn from our failures?

Because we do not observe, we are not aware.

We play the victim mentality and attribute the reasons for failure to the external world.

If there is a pattern that you are repeating the same mistakes over and again, then you have not been able to identify the reason for the mistakes.

When a kid puts her hands on a burning candle, it is unlikely that she will repeat the mistake.

But if she falls trying to walk, she will not stop; she will keep trying because she knows the fun of getting up every time on her tiny feet and walk again is far significant than the pain of falling over and again.

Often, we feel that we are repeating the same mistakes.

Failed relationships, flunking in the examinations repeatedly.

Failed to get promotions on time.

While on its face, it appears these repetitions are without any learnings, but there are still learnings that we fail to observe.

When we fail multiple times, we become free from the taboo of failing.

Sundar Pichai once said that he wears his failure as a badge of honor on his sleeves.

Now the question is that after the failure, what we do with it?

Do we crib over things and conditions that apparently did not help us, or we build our mental muscles to overcome failure next time?

Today, we do not live in the dark because Edison failed Ten thousand times and still did not give up on inventing Electric bulbs.

And look at his reaction on the same.

“I have not failed 10,000 times — I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

In his book “Range,” David Epstein explains how Vincent Van Gogh failed almost at everything he did until he was 32.

Then one day, he realized that he was made only for painting.

He died at the age of 37; it seems he had only a few years of productive life.

Van Gogh’s early failures made him what he eventually became, so we cannot conclude that his early years were not productive.

He failed, failed, and failed but eventually created something so beautiful that he is one of the most revered artists of all times.

He always knew that he was made for achieving something great but never knew how until he took up painting seriously.

He kept on trying.

In his book “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big,” Scott Adams narrated his own story of how he failed in so many things in life and finally made it big.

He created Dilbert Comics, which became a phenomenal success.

We all know how J K Rowling, maybe the only author in Human history with a net worth of over One Billion Dollars, failed in everything in her early life.

She had a failed marriage, with a two-month-old baby daughter, no job, no finished title, and had to live on unemployment benefits.

And then, one day, the world changed for her.

So, what are we going to do with our failures?

Bestselling author Keith Ferrazzi in his book “ Who’s Got Your Back, “ talked about “Failing Forward.”

So are we “Failing Forward” by applying learnings from failings or “Failing Behind” by refusing to learn from the failures; will eventually decide the outcome.

I was unable to observe my failure pattern for a very long time.

I used to feel bad looking at my failures and looked for reasons externally to rationalize the situation and still have a false sense of compassion for my own self.

When I did not get the promotion on time or did not get attention from people I cared about, I always looked at external reasons.

But when I started looking inward rather than externalizing the same, I saw a pattern.

Then I felt more in control of my own life.

I am still failing in many things, but I have stopped either bashing up myself for my failures or giving a false sense of consolation.

Failures bring freedom, make you courageous.

Have you noticed when you fail for a second time, the pain is less, people’s reactions are kinder?

Failure becomes more human.

There is an overused phrase in the Start-up Ecosystem, but I still feel it is apt “Failing Fast and Failing Cheap.”

I will add to that “Fail to be Free” so that there is no hesitation for trying and to “Fail Forward.”

What is your thought?