Fill your cup before you wish to fill others

Do you really love yourself?

You must be thinking, is this a lazy intellectualization?

During the flight’s safety briefing, the crew will tell you to wear a mask before helping others.

I am sure you have heard this many times in your life.

On the surface of it, this may appear as routine mechanical advice.

Without making it sound philosophical, I can say that this is really profound.

The core of it, you have to love yourself, care for yourself to love and care for others.

My mother gave birth to six children, never lived for herself a single moment.

She was busy filling up other’s cup always.

Eating last, eating whatever is left.

She thought that’s how she has to perform her duty.

She did not realize that it pained her loved ones.

We wanted her to live for herself.

I could not change her perspective on that; because she was fixated.

That’s my failure as well.

My big regret in life is that I could not spend enough time with my parents.

A couple of years back, she developed dementia.

She never took care of herself.

Today that is showing up.

She got exhausted.

She had dreams for herself, like she loved gardening, she loved weaving, and she loved visiting relatives.

But she buried all of them for others.

Her cup got filled with lost dreams and silent despairs.

Today we can not empty her cup to fill it even with an elixir.

Have you noticed that if you are in a good mood and happy, you make others happy as well?

We sometimes undermine our own well-being and feel apologetic for acknowledging the need for the same.

We need to take care of our family, work, responsibility, household chores, etc.

Where is the time for yourself?

This is a low level of self -awareness and not being responsible.

Smart people know that they have to be fit mentally and physically, happy, and joyous to make their near and dear ones happy.

When you are not filling your cup, you become bitter and grumpy inside, which will spill over to others’ lives.

So, here is my take.

We cannot be a self-absorbing, self-serving person.

However, if we intend to make others happy and make an impactful presence, we must first consider making ourselves healthy both physically and mentally.

No unhappy person can ever make others happy.

You have noticed how the disgruntled bosses and spouses behave.

I have noticed that if I am irritated, then that spills over to the persons around me.

They become the collateral victims of my resentment of life.

Please fill your cup of life with fun and joy before you want to serve others.

You will see remarkable differences.

It is not about being selfish but about being more valuable to others.

One who is burnt, bruised, and empty inside can he or she fill others with love and care?

Heal yourself to heal the world.

If everybody starts healing themselves, the world will be a better place anyway.

Nobody has to make any extra effort.