Are you living in an Echo Chamber...

I have recently read a quote somewhere ( not been able to place where ), which goes something like this, “People who point out other people's grammatical mistakes during an engaging conversation will go to the crematorium alone.”

My immediate reaction was okay; maybe, people who are finding out faults in semantics in others not really looking at the overall context could be really annoying.

People may get irritated by such behavior and even may start avoiding such cynics.

Is this the full story?

Let's delve into this.

Why people point out mistakes in others in the first place?

Some people will do this because they think they have descended from a place of high wisdom and knowledge and want to show off how knowledgeable they are.

They will get stuck in the semantics, and for them, proving a point of minor or non-material mistakes is also critical.

These are the people who miss the forest for the tree.

They can not see the holistic picture and overlook minor defects.

Such persons in relationships could be really scary.

Have they come from a deep sense of compassion and empathy towards the other persons, they would not have pointed out a silly mistake during an engaging conversation.

They would have probably looked at the larger picture and really felt the necessity to point the mistake because they genuinely wanted to help the other person to correct his mistakes.

Some people even get sadistic pleasure by pointing out mistakes in others; they have no intention of making any good to the other person but they enjoy putting other people down.

Some people are interested in knowing what you are trying to say and will not get caught in the semantics if they see any such inadvertent or an otherwise genuine mistake.

They will make a note, and in private, they can say something like this ... “You made a fantastic point; I loved your perspective. Do you think that if you changed the XXX to YYY, it would have been more appropriate? What do you think?”

Anyway, it is not the core issue.

My point is a bigger point and different.

What kind of person you are?

If you are making a point and someone points out a silly mistake, how do you react?

Does your ego get bruised?

Are you going to judge the person who is pointing out the mistake and be in denial or you are going to acknowledge the same if you feel that was true?

Thank you for pointing out this; I really appreciate it.

I will definitely try to improve on this.

You did not become defensive, you know a silly mistake does not define you, and you always look for opportunities for improvement from all corners.

This is what a growth mindset is about.

This essentially takes us to how we can give effective feedback or how people take feedback in the first place itself.

People with every high Emotional Quotient (EQ) will solicit feedback and really evaluate objectively.

If they feel that they are true and there is an opportunity to act on the feedback, they will take note of the same.

People with low EQ will immediately react.

They will ask. “Do I make that mistake?”

They may also try to rationalize the situation and explain why the mistake has happened in the first place itself.

They become defensive.

On the other hand, people will check your intent when you are giving feedback.

They will see through what made you give feedback?

If there is no trust between the feedback giver and the feedback taker, is it not going to work?

The person who will receive feedback must be convinced that the other person who is giving feedback is doing so out of genuine concern for him or her.

If a person is not ready to take feedback and there is no trust built, there is no point in giving feedback.

Rather it may boomerang.

I had multiple instances where things went wrong.

One of my team members was leaving the company, and there was a small farewell meeting.

Everybody spoke how great was that person, which I never heard them saying before.

Rather they were bitching about the person all the time.

When my turn came to speak a few words for him, I said all the good things I genuinely felt about, and I also said one thing he must change in the future, which I felt was necessary for him to do if he wanted to grow further.

I could notice that it was not well taken by the person; maybe he doubted my intent, maybe the timing was not apt, maybe he was not self-aware about the same.

My experience is that it is difficult to be self-aware at a deeper level for most people, and they are not even ready to look at themselves objectively.

During my long career, whenever there was a 360 Degree appraisal, invariably, most employees will put them in a rating of 5 out of 5.

Many thought that if they rate themselves below 5, other people will think that they do not have confidence.

What a BS argument.

Are you joking?

Are you Mr. or Ms perfect and epitome of professional excellence and do not have any areas to work upon?

Who are you fooling with?

Can anybody be 5 out of 5 in all areas?

The fact of the matter is that his or her manager would have rated them at 3 and the peers at 4.

In society, particularly in politics and corporate life, leaders will often be surrounded by people who will parrot what they are saying.

They live in an echo chamber, with no dissenting voice to hear.

No contrarian argument .

Only sycophants around and chanting the praises.

And that is the first sign of decay.

You have seen how great companies, political parties, great nations fall when they are living in an echo chamber and stop listening to others.

Do you like to live in an echo chamber or want to be surrounded by people who will not take your BS and point out mistakes because they care for you?

Friends who do not show you the mirror because that may offend you are selfish; they are not working on your growth but their own popularity.

Solicit people in life with empathy and compassion, without judgment who will not be an echo chamber but a mirror.