7 Most Common Pitfalls You Must Avoid in Handling Workplace Conflicts

40% of the time of a Manager goes in managing employee conflicts at work.

This was reported in the Times of India.

$359 billion was lost by Corporate America in 2019 on account of workplace conflicts as per the study by CPP Global.

Conflict in the workplace is a major cause of productivity loss.

Workplace conflicts are a stark reality.

Whether we like it or not, we have to face this every day.

In my 26 years of corporate life, I have experienced it and seen how it impacts productivity, employee’s happiness, and managers’ career.

So, I conducted a survey, and a whopping 55% of people said that workplace conflicts affected their performances and impacted their personal life.

24% of people believe that it impacted their performance, but it did not impact their personal lives that much.

Isn’t it mind-boggling?

If you want to grow the corporate ladder, or, for that matter, as an individual, you cannot avoid conflicts.

You have to get comfortable with it and develop skills to handle them effectively.

This is a big part of Leadership development.

If you are a business leader, then you need skills in handling conflicts so that that your organization does not waste valuable work hours in managing conflicts.

I am going to discuss how you can avoid 7 common mistakes and manage workplace-related conflicts very efficiently.

You will be able to avoid the pitfalls and reduce productivity losses of the employees.

Workplaces that have fewer conflicts or effective redressal mechanisms have happier employees.

However, this is not a full-blown conflict management research paper, and if you need in-depth knowledge, you have to refer to other resources in this area.

This article will help you hone your skill better, but I assume that you already have the foundational conflict management skills.

Here are 7 critical things you must be mindful of when you are handling workplace conflicts.

1. Keep your Emotions at bay

How many times has it happened that you showed emotional outbursts and later on told yourself, Oh Shit, I should have controlled my emotions?

We all have done this once or many times.

Emotions overtake our logic, and we cannot see things objectively; we even take things personally.

This worsens the situation, and instead of reconciliation, the crack becomes wider.

Next time, if you experience similar situations, it may be a good idea to take a break, let the emotional surge even out, and restart the discussion.

While rebutting to any e-mail, draft the mail and do not send if you are in an emotionally charged state.

Once you are calm, reread the e-mail to see whether that needs moderation.

Another technique could be to ask a question do I really need to react?

2. Communications

Communication is the most vital element in workplace conflict management.

Many times, just patient and non-judgmental hearing solves the problem.

While trying to resolve a workplace-related conflict, you must listen actively.

While listening, you must gauge what its underlying meaning is, what emotion is playing inside the minds of different stakeholders, and is the body language congruent with the statement?

If you become a keen observer and understand the underlying emotions, you will be better equipped to handle the situation.

Words are potent, particularly when dealing with a conflict situation; you must be skillful with selecting the right words.

Words that might arouse negative emotions like anger the provocation must be avoided.

Empathy is the key, and you must create that sense of trust and show empathy so that the people come out openly and share their points of view.

3. Set Boundaries

When you are trying to manage work-related conflicts for your team or yourself, it is imperative to draw the boundaries.

You must outline the objectives of any such exercise and stick to that.

Many a time, emotions play high, people get swayed and distracted from the core issue.

It may even become personal at times.

Your job is to draw the boundaries and letting the discussion not go out of that.

People bring references to past incidences and try to link; sometimes, people use derogatory words and make verbal attacks.

In any such scenario, you should course-correct it and remind people to stay in the course.

If it does not happen then, you may stop the proceedings and do it later when people are ready to do it within the boundaries set.

4. No pussyfooting

While taking up a hard issue or taboo issue leading to workplace conflicts, people sometimes take a soft approach.

They feel being direct may sound rude and may hurt the other person and increase friction instead of reconciliation.

The pitfall of this approach is that if you are trying to solve a hard problem going roundabout, people may not understand the gravity of the issue.

Assume that one of your team members is racially discriminatory in your team and makes comments to his colleagues. In such a scenario, you cannot be soft and subtle.

You have been direct and tell him how it was impacting the work atmosphere.

But the golden rule is to be hard on the issue and soft to the people.

5. Not a Zero-Sum Game

Conflict management should not be approached as a zero-sum game.

Particularly when it involves you directly, it need not be true that if you do not get a favorable resolution, you lose entirely, and the other party takes it completely.

Similarly, when you are resolving conflicts for the team, then you must propagate the idea of a win-win resolution and find common ground where everybody can win.

The problem is that conventional wisdom indicates that a conflict situation is a win-lose game among parties.

As a leader, your job is to shift that perspective and create an environment where people are ready to tread a win-win conflict resolution approach.

6. Choose your battles

Choose your battle wisely.

You cannot win every battle, nor do you need to.

There are many underlying conflicts in the workplace, and all of them need not come to your table for resolution.

You may evaluate which one you want to resolve, or you need to resolve.

There could be some conflicts that may not command your time and energy because that could be a low-impact item or, at times, even irrelevant.

Sometimes instead of resolving the conflicts for the team, your job could be to facilitate and empower them to solve them for themselves.

7. Conflict is not always bad

People are generally not comfortable talking about conflicts in the workplace.

Sometimes people are almost in denial.

Unresolved conflicts affect the workplace environment, morale, and productivity of employees.

But conflict may not necessarily be bad.

Instead of avoiding conflict, you should try to bring out the conflicts to the fore because conflict can be good for the organization.

Discussion on conflicts encourages open-mindedness and helps to create an environment where people feel attended to.

If there are unresolved conflicts, that leads to anxiety and confusion and eventually to unhappy employees.

Unhappy employees are sub-optimally productive.

Effective conflict management can catalyze organizational improvement.

As a manager, your success will largely depend, how competent you are in handling conflicts in the workplace.

Creating an environment in the organization where people can openly share their issues is sticky and stubborn.

Implementing these 7 steps in conflict management will make leaders more effective and impactful.

Some suggested readings on Negotiation, Conflict Management, and Pitching:

1.Getting to Yes -Negotiating an Agreement without giving in by Roger Fisher & William Ury

2.Getting Past No- Negotiating with Difficult People by William Ury

3.Never Split the Difference- Negotiating as if your life depended on it by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz

4.Pitch Anything -An Ithe innovative Method for presenting, persuading, and winning the Deal by Oren Klaff